Saturday, December 29, 2018

2019 was late by five minutes

"All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye..."

It is a little past eleven on a chilly 31st December night. The whole world is partying like crazy. Cars can be heard whizzing past on the roads. Their speakers boom the latest EDM. The night is still very much young. In fact, there is a party going on in my house too. My friends have all come over. There's dance and music. There is food and wine. This year has been a wonderful one for me. A huge raise at work, recognition in the society, an award for my food blogging... and on the personal front too - the proposal from Sankarshan, Munni Didi's precious little one after a much prolonged IVF treatment - indeed, this year has been a fantastic one.

I sit at one corner of my bedroom balcony - one of the very few secluded corners of my house tonight, with a glass of red wine in hand. Tonight, I am tired. I'm tired of all things fancy. I'm overwhelmed with all things bright and beautiful. I sit back and retrospect at the year gone by. And then, suddenly the door opens. In comes an old man, wearing a grey overcoat and a dark grey bowler hat. He looks weary and tired.

"May I please?" he asks, putting his worn out suitcase down and pointing at the empty cane chair. I look up, startled, who is he? What brings him here? I hesitantly nod my head and he obliges. I continue sipping my wine. The night is cold. I notice the man wrapping his red muffler tightly around his neck. He strangely reminds me of my grandpa. I ask him, "Would you like to have something to eat or drink? May be something warm?" He smiles and I notice a twinkle in his eyes. " It's okay Beta. I'm fine. I am just a little tired. Tired of all the burdens that I carry, the baggage that I bear", he says.His eyes wander off outside. A couple of stray dogs start to bark. I continue gazing outside. The silence is disturbingly calming. Yet the otherwise bubbly Anahita in me takes over.
"Umm...Uncle, I'm sorry to put it in this way, but I really did not recognise you. Are you a friend of one of my guests?" The old man, looking wistfully outside, answers, "Friend? Yeah.. to a few. The ones who've had a great year so far. Indeed I am their friend." I notice a melancholy on his face. The yellow streetlight on his face accentuates the creases on his pale skin, making him look sadder. I cannot but wonder, what is he talking about. "I'm sorry. But I do not understand. Could you please be a little less vague?"
"Beta, tell me, how was 2018 for you?"
"It was wonderful", I wanted to say. Could not. Memories flashed across my eyes. Little boys pelting stones at the ginger kitten on the EM Bypass connector I saw last summer. I was driving to work and had deadlines to meet. I could not spare ten minutes to protest and protect. And then Siyahi's face popped up. The ever smiling cheerful classmate of ours. But that is not how I saw her last. She was in all shambles. Though she tried hard to mask it, her favourite yellow or the most expensive cosmetics were unable to mask her pains. The dark circles around her sunken eyes helped her sing "Ek pyar ka nagma" with ultimate perfection on stage at our batch reunion. And then that night, her social media accounts started flowing with RIPs.
"Yes Beta? How was the year?" The old man asked me again. I gave a weak smile and said, "It went well Uncle. But I hope the coming year does bring in so much more. I have so much to do, yet there's so little time. I need to close a few deals at work, travel to places where I haven't checked in yet. Read a few books too - I have a long list of TBR."
"Wait, wait, wait, wait", he stops me midway, looks at his watch. I notice a worn out belt and a damaged glass. But the hands shine bright and keep ticking. it is five minutes to the new year. people are seen coming out to the streets, crackers and confetti in hand. The music gets louder in my house.
"Slow, my child. You are rattling off like a sprinter." When he laughs, I notice the smile reaching his eyes, the wrinkles make him look so genuine. He looks a bit irritated though when he stares out of the balcony and mumbles, "Less thanfive minutes to go and still no sight of him. These youngsters..." He looks at me kindly and then says, "beta, I've seen a lot more in life than you. " I smile and say, "Yeah, you do look so." He grins. And continues, "True. So while I wait for him to come..."
"Who?" I stop him.
"Beta, you interrupt a lot. I will introduce you to him in due course of time. He should have been here by now. Wonder what is keeping him occupied. So as I was saying, did you realise that you never said that you wanted to be happy in the coming year?" Slow down a bit. Enjoy the moments as they come. Don't just spend them instead, live them. Be kind, be compassionate. Be happy."
The clock struck twelve. I expected people to barge in and wish me a "Happy New Year". Strangely, nothing happened. The old man looked up at the clock, then outside and finally at me.
"Oh Uncle, I know all that you say is so wise. But honestly, it sounds so much like those Moral Science classes in high school."
His bright face darkens, immediately. And then in a voice that strangely resembles my grandpa's, he mutters, "I don't want you to live with regrets my child. I don't want you to be silent when someone asks you next year on 31st December, how the year went. I don't want you to wake up in the middle of the night, feeling guilty for all the things that you should have taken care of and did not. I don't want you to feel "comfortably numb". I want you to embrace life and be happy from within." His voice trails off.

I hear a taxi stop at the gate. I look down the balcony railing to see ahandsome young man coming out of it. The driver unloads his baggage. There is quite a load of it, looks brand new and shining. The old man raises his hand and asks the driver to wait, picks his shabby suitcase and walks to the door. He stops, looks back at me and says, "take care Beta" and walks out of the room. The young gentleman looks up, sees me and winks at me with a warm smile on his face.
The digital clock on my table shows "JAN 01 2019 00:05". The city erupts in celebrations as the taxi moves away into oblivion.

 "Kuch pakar khona hai
  kuch khokar pana hi
  jiwan k matlab to ana aur jana hai
  do pal ke jiwan se
  ek umra churani hai
  zindagi aur kuch bh nahi
  teri meri kahani hai..."

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